So I work at an ice cream store, and this girl walked in today and quietly asked me who the man behind the counter was. I responded that he was my manager.
"Oh, he’s cute. What’s his name?"
"Justin, but fair warning, he plays for the, uh, other team."
And I swear to fucking god four people (including myself) yelled ‘WILDCATS’ so loud she spilled her drink.
I was sitting alone in Biology today, when the teacher told us we needed to work in pairs, and he looked over at me and asked “And why are you sitting on a table on your own?”
And me being the snarky little ball of sunlight that I am, I answer “Because no-one likes me”
AND EVERYONE IN THE CLASS WENT ‘AWWW!’ IN SYMPATHY
I AM THE NIGHT
DO NOT AW ME